Due to lack of emotional maturity and diminished vocabulary to verbalise how they feel, grieving children will often act it out.  Hence, behavioural changes can be common in a grieving child or adolescent, most of which are a normal reaction to a significant loss such as death or family breakdown. 

Most people recognise the obvious signs of grieving such as crying or sadness, but temper tantrums, withdrawal behaviours, drop in grades at school or a change in attitude also give insight into the emotional state of a child. Dramatic shifts such as these can indicate unresolved issues of grief and anger.

One would expect behavioural changes to happen immediately after the loss event, but they can manifest months or years later. During the first year of loss, a child usually receives a lot of support from extended others — e.g. teachers, club leaders etc. However, empathy is not always so forthcoming when behaviour changes and manifestations of grief are delayed.

Often, unintentionally, people tend to rush both kids and adults through their grief to ‘be better.’ But as each person’s grief journey is very personal, one cannot put a time clock on it. In fact, the second year of a child’s grief journey tends to be more troubled, because during the first year, they are somewhat protected in the numbness, shock and denial of their loss.  Only in subsequent years, when they start to ‘defrost,’ does the reality of the situation start to sink into them.  

Bibliography:
Yehl Marta, Suzy. Healing the Hurt, Restoring the Hope. Rodale. 2004.
Teyber, Edward. Helping Children Cope with Divorce. Jossey-Bass. 2001.