Children will worry and try to fill in the gaps themselves if they aren’t kept informed about things. Explanations should be simple, clear and age appropriate. Children’s imaginations tend to work overtime and usually what they’ve imagined is probably worse than reality. 

This is a common worry for children who have experienced the death of a loved one. Unfortunately, as tempting as it is, we can’t promise that no one they love will never die.  We know that death is the one sure thing we all face in life. However, we can approach it by saying that we hope to be around for a very long time.  We can’t worry about what will happen in the future otherwise we won’t be able to enjoy today. 

This also might be the time to tell them that Jesus died in our place, taking the punishment for our sins. Then, after defeating death, He rose again!  Now, if we admit our wrongdoings and place our trust in His forgiveness, we too can live forever with Him in Heaven.

No matter what their age, children instinctively know that they can’t take care of themselves. If the question of who will take care of them in the absence of their primary caregiver isn’t explored in an age-appropriate way, children can develop anxieties over this issue. Early on, it is imperative to reassure children that there will always be someone to look after them. If necessary, give them a list of people in your family who will always love them and be available to take care of them. It is good to make them aware that there are many people who care about them.  

I know this is hard to comprehend, but many children feel responsible for the death of a family member. Whether your children voice this or not, it is important to reassure them that they can never be the cause. If they have voiced this worry, do ask them how they have come to this conclusion so you can dispel any misconceptions they have. 

Due to a child’s literal thinking and their belief that the whole world revolves around them and is affected by them, an innocent remark or incident prior to the death can make a child feel unnecessarily responsible and guilty – e.g. he/she died because I was disobedient, or because I was fighting with my sibling, or because I wished they would die. This is something that needs to be dispelled as early as possible to avoid the child carrying such a heavy and unrealistic burden.